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20 Sep

Looking For “Bae” AKA Mr. Do Right?

Looking for Bae, AKA Mr. Do Right?

You’re taking that early morning scroll through your Facebook timeline + whadayahkno, your old high school friend just got engaged to her Mr. Right! You wanna be genuinely happy for her, but in the pit of your stomach you feel that little knot of jealousy forming.  Having been single for a while, you’re secretly wishing you were the one getting engaged.  Besides, everyone knows she suffered from a THOT-attack through high-school and college. Who on earth would want a lifetime commitment  with “she who has no walls, anyway?” Rather than getting deeper into your feelings about it, you step into your “XL” panties,  shake it off, and proceed to shoot her a quick note of well-wishes.

“Congrats on your engagement, I’m so happy for you!”–> insert celebratory emoji’s here<—

You really want to be supportive of people and clap for their blessings, but its becoming increasingly harder. You tap over to I-G, for a little morning motivation, cause they always have the bomb-bay quotes on the “Gram”.  Little did you know, your feed is flowing with epic-ly cool “look at us” pictures! Your girl hopping out of her new 2016 Quattroporte GTS Meserati that “Bae” just copped her as a Valentine’s Day gift; + your  bestie-boo is sharing Snapchats of Her + Bae’s recent happenings.  So far today they’ve had a playful pillow fight, attended an elegant Brunch, and took part in an evening roast session resulting in shared laughs and happy faces.  So basically, they’re ALL Boo’d up, looking like everything you want in life.  After hearting a few pics, you double click, swipe up + head out to GETCHOLYFE!

Here’s the thing- YOU. ARE. HUMAN. We all want that REAL companionship after while, especially when we hit the mid 20’s range. Shucks, there’s only so much happiness one can gather from adorning the bar in the club; or getting Him bodied, by drunken  sex…only to realize the next morning, you’re nothing more to Him than a random chick  in a freak ’em dress + six inch stilettos.

It’s so easy to get caught up in wishing your life was different. It’s so easy to feel like you’re missing out on your blessings, because you’ve been looking for Bae in broad daylight, with a lantern, and yet you still ain’t found him.  You’re having a 90’s MJB “Real Love” crisis.

This is what I need you to know. God hasn’t forgotten about you, I guarantee it. You have a S.O.S. too. Do understand however, that  someone else’s happiness, shouldn’t take away from yours. God didn’t run out of blessings and your friends and associates haven’t been granted “the last man on earth”. There are still good men out here to be had. The key is to stop looking for them and focus on all the other wonderful things life has to offer. See, most of us just-so-happened to stumbled upon our real love, we weren’t just ouchea looking for him like “Baby where you at”. You have to understand and appreciate how God works.  There is a reason and  season for everything that occurs in our lives, good or bad. You may not be in a place where God sees fit for you to have “Mr. Right”, right now + thats okay! You may not be ready to receive Bae, Hun. Take time to get to know and love YOU. Take time to reflect on being happy where you are NOW in life. Being single doesn’t have to be a long, dry, lifeless, road.  Use this time to your advantage.  Have fun, explore and get ish done! There are so many reasons to appreciate where you are in your personal life, and ultimately; the more familiar and ONE you become with SELF, the better off you’ll be for someone else.

In the meantime, here are a few things you can do:

  • Learn a new language- You’ll enjoy your travel that much more if you’re familiar with the native language.
  • Take time to improve your credit, so that when you meet that special someone, you’re not bringing any baggage with you.
  • Go to Home Depot and learn how to be your own handy-man.
  • Travel and explore someplace you’ve never been, whether out of state or out of country-get comfortable with traveling solo.
  • Read A LOT, and also work diligently to have a REALationship with God. This is most important, as it’s  key and essential to living a fulfilled life.

 Single doesn’t always mean lonely, and relationship doesn’t always mean Happy— Love yourself first and the rest will follow!

  • Darlene

    You are by all means doing what God wants you to do! I read your blog with immense gratitude! I repeat don’t stop this. You are the and a black girl who rocks! Yessssss!

    09.19.15 at 1:48 pm Reply
  • Treka L. House

    Well damn! I was doing my normal timeline stroll through Facebook and look what I happened upon. This well written post. I swear you took the words right out of my head, well some of them anyway. Lol!!! This was such a real post and a must share!!! Hopefully this will get a few people right!

    09.19.15 at 5:23 pm Reply
  • gloria

    You are doing your thang!!!! I’m loving it..

    09.21.15 at 12:36 pm Reply

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