So last month was a BLAST! I was beyond blessed to have had a lot of fun experiences. October being my birthday month, I’d set a theme. My plan was to”Just Do it”, whatever it was that challenged me, and I did. One of my Just Do It adventures, happened to lead to a “Me Time” impromptu weekend getaway in Miami as I wanted to attend the “Work Party Book Tour” which was just flat out FABULOUS on ALL LEVELS.   People, Location, Food AND Food For Thought… it was an all out bomb-diggity experience from start to finish.

What was unique about this experience for me, was the fact that I did it On. My. Own! I’d invited one of my good, good girlfriends to attend with me but due to schedule conflicts and my spontaneous way of planning (like, literally a day before the event!) she was unable to join me. Initially, I felt a little disappointed because I really wanted to share this experience with her as my business bestie and all. However, I knew that I needed to go regardless because this event was going to be fruitful in so many ways, and just as I’d expected, it was all that and then some.

Leading up to the event, I was a little apprehensive about how I’d fit in and whether or not I’d have anyone to talk to while there. You know how the negative self-talks go… “well, what if everyone’s all snobby and clique-ish, who will you talk to. What if you’re wasting your time and this event is a complete flop… and ya-da-ya-da-yahhhh!

The thing is, though I know that I don’t need to fit in, and that events and experiences are ALWAYS what you make of them, that knowledge doesn’t always quiet the little voice inside that tries to stir-up fear and self-doubt. I know that anxiety is common, especially when you’re stepping into unfamiliar territory so today I’m sharing a few tips on how to network successfully… even when you’re going forth and challenging yourself to become comfortable with going alone.

First thing FIRST… (* I totally rapped this line in my Biggie Smalls voice, Lol!)

The first thing to remember is this… it’s a SOCIAL event, Sister-friend. So folks are looking to get social. If you’re attending a social event alone, understand that thats perfectly okay and perfectly NORMAL. Though it may feel wierd and even awkward at times, it’s truly not. People are out and about and they’re seeking human connection with like-minded people who share similar interest and desires. The people in the room that you’re walking into are happy that you’re there and they’re open to meeting you. The REAL and FUN and GENUINE YOU! So show up, and share. When negative thoughts surface (as they will) send them packing with positive reassurances and affirmations. You are supposed to be there and you deserve to be there. You are valuable and getting to know you is a privilege and the same goes for getting to know others, so take advantage and indulge. Share your interests and allow yourself the benefit of welcoming new friends into your circle of growth and exploration.

Secondly, Smile Bihhh…

A smile is truly your greatest accessory, especially in a social setting. A warm smile conveys a clear message that you’re approachable and open to being approached. When you happen upon making eye contact with someone, rather than looking puzzled… or resulting to the defensive  “what you looking at me fo-face” (that you often result to when you’re uncomfortable with being seen) instead, flash a sincere smile that says, hello… nice to meet you. So often a simple smile leads to intriguing conversations that flourish into life long friendships. Smile and engage.

 

Don’t take it personal…(Baby, baby, baby)

Given the fact that you’re at a social event you can pretty much anticipate folks taking interest in what you do for a living (yes, how you earn you duckies), where you’re from and so forth. Often times, especially nowadays, these seemingly basic questions can come off as rude and intrusive. Mainly because those questions can easily (and often) become measuring sticks used to determine your value and level of accomplishment. Though judgement is not always the intent or cause behind the question; it’s hard to gauge if this line of questioning is coming from a place of sincerity and genuine interest or if the individual asking is trying to place you and how you measure-up against them. So now what? You’re there, being social and now they’ve popped the question and its a little uncomfortable. How do you handle it?

Well, you prepare for it. You prepare to tell people exactly what YOU want them to know about you and you package the information in such a way that makes you feel comfortable with sharing. Share on your own terms. If you’re in a space where you aren’t quite comfortable with where you are. That’s perfectly okay. Speak to the fact that you’ve gained an array of experience over the years at that you’re fortunate to have the ability to explore your options and follow and pursue your passions. Then speak to what you’re passionate about and what you’re hoping to gain from the social experience that you’re attending.  Just remember that positive begets positive. So though those questions are indeed very personal, don’t assume that the intent is negative. Think positively and respond accordingly.

Lastly, have fun and be confident. Wear something fabulous that mirrors your personality and how you want people to view you and don’t forget your business cards and social media handles— the key is to make connections and to make staying connected easy.

I hope you enjoyed this read. Subscribe to the newsletter to stay in the know. Hugs Sister-friends and have a lovely week.   Smooches!